While fixing my headache problem will probably be successful, I cannot help but worry. The possibility of spending the rest of my life horizontal scares the hell out of me. I'm trying really hard to be optimistic, but with so many things going wrong, pessimism has taken over.
With that said, I am incredibly thankful for the things that people have done for me.
People have brought me food:
Becky
Kris
Hollywood Richard (there are two Richard B's who have done things for me so I'll distinguish them by calling one Hollywood Richard and the other CC Richard)
Robin
Ron
People have brought or sent me treats:
Amy
Angela and Ron
Carol
Christy
Jen and Harvey
Julie
Justine
Kris
Lise
Rebecca
CC Richard
Hollywood Richard
Sue
People have sent me Delivered Dish gift certificates:
Carol and Sue
Gennie
Kendyl, Robin, Susan, and Theresa
People have visited me in the hospital and/or since I've been home:
Gillian
Jeff
Julie
Justine
Kris
Lise
Rebecca
CC Richard
Hollywood Richard
People have given me cards, books, movies, bedding for my hospital bed, a memory foam mattress so I don't get bed sores, silly putty, Playdoh, coloring books, crayons, a kit to make a stuffed donkey, flowers, money for a padded shower bench, Amazon.com gift certificate, a Snuggie, stuff for Gillian, magazines, lotions, art from their kids, etc:
Amy
Barbara
Carol
Christy
Donna
Gillian
Julie
Justine
Karen
Kris
Laura
LaVon
Mom and Dad
Rebecca
CC Richard
Hollywood Richard
Ron
Sally
Stephanie
Sue
I'm also thankful for the other things such as rides to and from the hospitals, assistance in finding help, running errands for me, taking stuff from my house to my garage, a shoulder to cry on, visiting me, checking on my house while I was in the hospital, feeding the pets, bringing GIllian to the hospital to visit me, and all the get well wishes I have received.
Finally, I thank Gillian for putting up with everything. I know this has been incredibly difficult for both of us. I'm so sorry to put you through all this. It has turned out to be a much bigger ordeal than I ever imagined. I'm so sorry you have all these extra responsibilities, I'm sorry for all the worry and stress you've dealt with, and I'm sorry for my inability to do the things that I should be able to do for you as your mother.
Please let me know if your name should be somewhere in above lists, but isn't!
The small small amount I've been able to do has been my pleasure. I think a huge amount of credit goes to you for being willing to ask for help and accepting it with such grace. To need help goes against so many of our culture's rules and ideas about what makes someone a good or strong person. The strongest person, in my opinion, is the one who knows his or her weakness, just as the wise ones know how much they don't know. I think one of the hardest things to do is to accept the service of others. It takes a lot of strength of character to let go of being in control of everything and to allow others an opportunity to give. It's good for them and good for you. To reach out to others and to respond to what they have to give makes the connections we have to one another more real and reminds us that we are all together in this web-of-life thingy we're all living. This is a horribly frustrating thing you're going through physically, but perhaps the hardest part is that you are being forced to live your life so completely differently from how you have in the past. Change is always so freaking hard, but you have already come through so much and you will come through this, too. My wish for you is that the sufferings you've endured will have some beautiful gift to reveal to you as you move through it, something that will enhance your enjoyment of life in the future and strengthen your ties to the ones you love and who truly love you.
ReplyDeleteThank you Lise. xoxo
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